Or are we dancer?

Religion class: the meaning of life.
What does life mean? Why are we here?
Oh, for god's sake.

They made us listen to this song. It's been in my ipod for a long time, and sometimes I just adore it, but I had never been able to find a meaning to those words. It just give me the sense of unsolved questions.
Today I had the lyrics to read and at the same time had to think about the meaning of life.

Are we what we think we are? What do we think we are?
Sometimes it feels like we're just guided by something else, are we conscious of ourselves? Are we just a tiny insignificant part of something we don't even know?

I thought of the man who sings in the Killers, I don't even remember his name, I wanted to hug him and say "Oh my goodness, I don't know anything either".

Never thought a religion class could really make me think.

And I'm on my knees

looking for the answer.

Take on me, take me on. I'll be gone, in a day or two.

I perfectly know how to wait.

Wait for something to come my way.

I wait because I'm afraid.

I'm used to lose.

But have I ever tried?

After a week.

Here we go.
A week has gone. The first week in this cloudy and windy land.
The last days before leaving I was too excited even to think about it clearly. And now I'm here.
When I stop to think about it, it's like I'm realising it for the first time.
One of my dreams has come true: I'm living for more than three months in another country where all I can hear is english english english (and yes, just some irish but I can't understand a word).

And now?
Everyone says I'm going to have a terrific experience, have fun, meet new people, and do great things. They're all right: I'm damn lucky!
So how can I disappoint them? How can I disappoint myself by being not happy as I thought I would be?

This ain't another bloody post in which I'm going to feel sorry for my poor soul. I'm sick of all this.

I'd said to myself I shouldn't have had any expectations. It would have been such a good thing. But now I think that actually it's impossible. Expectations come to your mind without any kind of warning. You just have them.
So, if I'm not having what I f expected I just have to get everything from what I have here and now.
That's not easy but that's the only thing I can do.

Go do your homewotk, Julie. Come on.