Instead of French.

Yes, I should do a bit of French studying at the moment, but guess what? I don't want to.

I just want to write some things that go through my mind. A perfect list of what I'm worried about lately:

- I can't be serious about school any more

- I want to go to university in Vienna and my german sucks

- I therefore have to get some extra german lessons

- I'm going to work both on saturday and sunday this weekend, and maybe I've almost forgotten how to work

- I miss Ireland

- I fall for people I see on the bus

- I can't think of any bloody way to go up to him and say "Hi there, shall we have a talk?"

- I actually have never ever been able to do something like that in any possible or impossible way

- I'm not giving a shit about the french grammar book I have just below my eyes

- I'm writing nonsense while I should be going to bed

- I haven't been very kind to my friends recently

- I started listening to Peter Gabriel and the first records of Genesis, a band I've always rejected, now my father rejoices

- I have to take an awful exam at the end of this last school year

- I have to revise the play I'm in everyfriggingday

- I can't remember it anyhow and I don't know why (or maybe I do)

- I still have to see loads of films with John Cusack in them, but I can't find time or DVD players

- I will never be able to study enough to get my driving licence

- I'm still reading High Fidelity, but I already have 1984 by George Orwell and Le Malentendu by Irène Nemirovski waiting for me to read them

- The Subjonctif tense shouldn't have been invented, French and people studying it would be less frustrated

- I'm sleepy

- I miss the Austrians

- That guy was way too young why would I even think of something like that in the first place?

- My friends will go out while I'm happily working tomorrow night

- I have to get up at six tomorrow

- I actually should get up at six every morning, except for Sundays

- I was too euphoric yesterday and too depressed today, and I don't have a real reason for both of these feelings

- Que je sois, que tu sois, qu'il soit, que nous soyons, que vous soyez, qu'ils soient.

Can you see worries for any other person but MYSELF? I'm bloody selfish. And that's this freaking society's fault, is it not?

Auf wiedersehen.